Family of Four

Phin's being promoted to Big Brother.  We are having a baby girl in the Fall.  My original due date was September 28th but they have moved it to October 4th since the baby has consistently measured to that date over the four ultrasounds we have had this pregnancy.  When people ask my due date I still say September 28th...a due date in October just seems so far away.

When I was pregnant with Phin I related pregnancy to a half marathon...this time it has been more like a roller coaster ride.  For months we prayed that we would be blessed with another child and that we would be able to give Phin a sibling.   After months of trying we experienced the hope that comes with a positive test result...followed days later by a miscarriage.  It was devastating.  I have written and rewritten this post a million times trying to find the words to express this loss...and I just can't seem to find them.  I relied heavily on the spirit and on friends that had also lost pregnancies.  I started to think a lot of Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego when they said "but if not."  I had to emotionally get myself into a place that if we were not to be blessed with more children I would still see the blessings that we had been given.  We were elated to have another positive test result near the end of January.    

I had my first ultrasound back in February just before Seth's birthday.  I didn't have an ultrasound this early on with Phin so it was a little strange to not see distinct body parts.  This pregnancy has been much harder than Phin's...which I didn't think was possible.  Nausea hit in February, just before my birthday and really didn't go away until May.  I couldn't hide how awful I felt from my family so we told my parents just after my birthday and the rest of my family just after Seth's birthday.  Seth wanted to keep the pregnancy secret from his family until his parent's return from their mission in the  Philippines..  

I  elected to do the quad screening this pregnancy.  During my pregnancy with Phin I thought that amniocentesis was the only testing method so when they mentioned I simple blood test for genetic screening I thought it would be a good idea.  I was at work on April 17th when I received a phone call from my OBGYN.  She told me that the quad screen had come back abnormal with an increased risk of down syndrome. My chances increased from 1 in about 500 to 1 in 57.   My mind instantly flooded with the images of students that had Down Syndrome that I had worked with in the past.  I have always been the therapy provider and now I was imagining myself as the parent.  My background as a speech therapist gave me a very clear picture of how different life would be.  I knew there would be difficulty with feedings, difficulty meeting developmental milestones, endless IEP meetings, etc.  As I hung up the phone I returned to testing a student and my eyes started to cloud up.  I finished testing as quickly as I could and sent the student back to his class and then the tears flowed.  I soon felt the comfort of the spirit and knew that Heavenly Father would give us the child that he needed us to have.  If he was willing to trust us with one of his most special spirits than I needed to trust as well.

The following Friday I had my first appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine.  Two doctors completed extensive ultrasounds.  They looked for the markers of down syndrome and the only one that was slightly there was a brighter than normal bowel...but they said the ultrasound machine tends to screen brighter.  They also told me that we were having a girl!  After the ultrasounds I met with a genetic counselor and we decided to do a cell free DNA test.  Before I left the office I had my blood drawn again.  This test is more expensive than the quad screen and also much more accurate.

On May 4th we received a phone call with great news that the blood test had come back as normal.  The blood test also confirmed that we were definitely having a baby girl.  I had two more ultrasounds in the coming weeks.  The picture below was from one of them...baby girl was apparently not to happy to be jostled around.

The return of Skeletor.

We can't wait to meet this little one in the Fall.